Thank You For Calling

A short by: Ronnie

Beeeeeeeep.

“Thank you for calling Prodigus, my name is Mike. In order to better assist you, may I please have the member’s ID number?”

5 seconds.

“Oh give me just a second. I just plugged that number into your silly computer phone system.”

“Sorry about that ma’am. The part of my computer that makes that information automatically pop up isn’t working right now.” Maybe if they got me out of this damn training room half the apps I need to do this job would work properly.

35 seconds.

“If you ask me, that computer is just too confusing. It took me twenty minutes just to get through that computer woman and get you to answer the phone.”

50 seconds.

“I apologize for that ma’am. I know that the automatic system can sometimes be difficult to get through. It’s actually designed to make things faster.” In reality, Mike had no clue. He’s never actually had to call his employer, nor would he ever. He has to feed them what they want to hear. How else is he supposed to get them off the phone in less than 420 seconds?



“I’m eighty three years old. I don’t want to talk to computers. I want to find out why I can’t get my prescriptions.” The Wal-Mart pharmacy down on Poplar Lane had just tried to charge her $845 dollars not an hour ago.

67 seconds.

“I understand that ma’am. May I please get your ID number so that I can look up your information?”

“Yes sir, just let me dig it back out of my purse. I thought I was done with it. Okay, here we go. 6-7-9…” Mike squints in pain as she begins to read off the number. “5-3-dash-4-8-8-4-1-dash-0-0-dash-A.”

113 seconds.

“Sorry ma’am, but I’m unable to look up your information with that number. Is that coming off of your Prodigus Insurance card?” It’s coming off one of those damn letters.

“No, it’s coming off this letter you people sent me in the mail. It says member ID number, 6-7-9...”

“Sorry to cut you off ma’am but that’s not your actual ID number. The number we need is located on your Prodigus Insurance card.” Why do they put numbers on the letters? To confuse them and waste my time?

150 seconds.

“Oh, okay, just a minute Mike.”

I don’t have a minute lady. 200 seconds into the call and you haven’t even asked your question. Mike hears her rifling through her purse in search of the renegade ID card.

“Let me put my glasses on,” she mutters under her breath. She's been a little absent minded ever since her husband, Fred, died four months ago. “Okay, okay, member’s ID number, ID number. Let’s see here.” They had planned on moving to Florida together this summer where the weather was warm and the Medicare plans were cheap. Without Fred she’ll never leave Minnesota. None of her family lives there anymore, but it had always been their home.

“It should be located on the front of your card ma’am, under your name. It should begin with the letter P.”

221 seconds.

“Okay, okay. P, as in Paul, 5-4-4-9-6-2-4-2-0-0.”

235 seconds.

“Thank you ma’am. Your name please.”

“Maggie Horton.”

“And your date of birth.”

“September 2nd, 1926.”

“Well, happy belated birthday, Miss Horton.” He didn’t mean it but the Quality Department would recognize that he personalized the call.

253 seconds.

“Thank you, dear. Now I’m calling today because…”

“Sorry Miss Horton but could you please verify your mailing address?” Mike cut in.

“I just want to know why you didn’t cover my cancer medications when I went to the pharmacy this morning.” The medicine that her life depended on. The medicine that Jason, the nice pharmacist that always waited on Miss Horton, tried to charge her nearly $1000 for.

“Sorry Miss Horton, but by HIPAA guidelines you must verify your mailing address before we go any further.” Just give me your address lady! This call is killing my stats!

345 seconds.

My address, she thought to herself. Maggie had lived at the same house, on the same street, for over fifty years. It held a special place in her heart. Every nail and every piece of wood held a memory. In one year's time, lying on her deathbed, she will still remember her address. “I live at 8959 West Hampton Street Big Falls, Minnesota 56627.” She will cry six months from now, the day her son calls to inform her she must move to a nursing home. He will call from New York, where work never allows him to visit. She won't resist him. She'll no longer be his burden. He'll tell her it's for her own good.

401 seconds.

“Thank you, Maggie. Is it alright if I call you Maggie?” More brownie points for the Quality Department. Make the call personal without going off track they had told him. Don’t sound like a robot. Our job is customer service, not customer information.

“Yes Mike, that’s just fine.”

“Okay, Maggie, what can I do for you today?”

“Like I said, I went to the Wal-Mart earlier today to get my medicine. They usually charge me $60 for each medicine. But, but, today they tried to charge me $845. How could that be, Mike? I can’t afford to pay that much.”

500 seconds.

“Give me just a moment ma’am and let me look up some information.”

“Okay, Mike, take your time.” Maggie only receives $875 each month from social security.

“Okay Miss Horton, it looks as though you have entered the donut hole.”

“The what?” she replied.

527 seconds.

“The donut hole, ma’am. Also known as the coverage gap.”

“Well, what is this coverage gap?”

“You enter the coverage gap once you spend a predetermined amount of money on your prescriptions; in your case, $2400. Once you spend $2400 you enter the donut hole and are responsible for 100% of the drug costs. To get out of the coverage gap you must spend $3850 out of pocket. Once that is spent you reach stage three, the catastrophic stage. In this stage you are only responsible for 5% of the drug cost.”

643 seconds.

Maggie Horton sat in silence staring at the wall, a blank expression across her face. Donut holes and large sums of money danced through her mind. How could she have spent $2400? She’s barely accumulated that much money all year.

“Mike, I just don’t see how I have spent $2400 on medicine this year. I only pay $60 for my most expensive pills.”

“You see Miss Horton, the amount that gets you to the coverage gap is a combination of what you spend on the drug and what Prodigus pays on the drug. If you spend $10 on a prescription and Prodigus pays $100, then $110 goes towards the $2400.”

“I see,” she said. “So, I don’t have too far to go to get to the $3850 since I’ve already spent $2400?”

766 seconds

“Actually, Miss Horton, only the portion you spend out of your pocket goes towards the $3850, not including the amount Prodigus pays. So, if you spend $60 on a prescription and Prodigus pays $100, only the $60 you paid will go towards the $3850. Right now you've spent $926.53 out of your pocket. That leaves around $2900 more dollars you must spend before you get out of the donut hole.” Come on lady!
794 seconds
Maggie sits the phone down on the counter. The emotional strain is unbearable. The reality that she must spend nearly four months of her income before her insurance covers her prescriptions is a waking nightmare.

809 seconds

"Maggie, are you still there?" If there is one minute of silence Mike is allowed to disconnect the call.

The flood of tears cannot be held back. Maggie hides in her arms. She wishes Fred were there to comfort her, to tell her everything would be alright.

821 seconds

"Miss Horton, are you there?"

What will my children think? They have their own lives to live. I can't put this financial burden on them. They have children of their own. I hardly have an opportunity to speak to them the way it is. I don't want to seem like a beggar asking them for money.
845 seconds

"Ma'am, are you there? I will have to disconnect the call if you do not respond." 25 more seconds. I've got to get off this call or my average call time will be horrible for the day. I've got to get off this call.
860 seconds

Maggie tries to pull herself together. Taking her medication is the difference between life and death. She realizes the only way she can work out a solution is to gain as much information as possible.

875 seconds

"Mike," she murmurs. "Are you still there, Mike?"

"Thank you for calling Prodigus, Miss Horton. Have a great day."