Teal

A short by: Ronnie

“So, what do you think of teal?”

“Teal?”

“Yeah, teal.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about ducks.”

“Ducks?”

“Yeah, ducks.”

“I asked you about teal.”

“I know.”

“But you don’t know how you feel about ducks?”

“Yeah, I’m really not sure.”

A dumbstruck look of bewilderment crosses Jack’s face, a slanting of the eyes and lowering of the chin. His mouth slightly gapes. The web of crow’s feet on either side of his eyes becomes more pronounced, as if he were squinting into the sunlight.

“Teal, Jim”, he repeats.


Jim stares out the window. “Ducks are fairly useless creatures. They fly south, they fly north, they swim in the ponds. They're somewhat aesthetically pleasing but I can appreciate a body of water without them.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I wonder where the duck fits in the evolutionary cycle. They must have had more aggressive ancestors.”

“Jim!” screams Jack. “You’re talking about goddamn ducks!”

“I know, Jack. You asked me.”

“Where in the question, ‘What do you think of teal?’ did I ever ask about ducks.”

“The whole question, Jack. There is the Common Teal, the smallest dabbling duck alive, Blue Wing Teal, Green Wing Teal, Ringed Teal, and Marbled Teal.”

Jim pulled his gaze from the window and returned his full attention to Jack sitting across the table. Jack’s hands were gripping the top of his head as if his hair were trying to rip itself out of his scalp, his attempt to hold it at bay ostensibly futile. To Jim, this seemed an extreme overreaction to a simple question. Had he left out a prominent breed and Jack was in awe of his stupidity? Red found his cheeks as the possibility crossed his mind.

“I’m looking at a clothing magazine.”

“I see that,” replied Jim.

“Do you like this shirt?”

Jack slides the magazine towards Jim and points to the item in question.

“It looks nice. It’s on sale. I think you should buy it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it seems like a good deal.”

“What color do you think it is?”

“I’d say blue-green.”

“You don’t say, Jim?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d say.”

“I’ll be damned.”

“Jack?”

“What?”

“Did I leave out a breed of teal?”