Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The Hog's Tooth
1950 Palmyra, IN
The letter said to be in Palmyra by 12:30. Wait at the Jones Filling Station it told him. Here he stood. The sun was high and the heat was rising. Jack could feel the sweat fill the pits of his white T-shirt. That was also in the letter. Not the sweat part, although he’s sure there’ll be a little of that. Wear a white T-shirt and slacks it told him. Yes sir, letter sir, he told it. Jack didn’t have to meet them to start receiving orders. He followed them. He figured he better start now. He put on his Sunday slacks and white T-shirt just as they said.
The sun was hot on his already burnt neck. He kicked a pebble around to pass the time. The dust swirled under his boot. It was near drought level. It didn't help the crops any. A couple trucks rolled by and Jack gave them a nod.
“How you doing, Jack?” he heard from behind him.
“Alright I suppose,” said Jack, turning.
It was Old Man Jones himself. Covered head to toe in grease, you would have thought him a Negro if you were anywhere but Palmyra, Indiana. There weren’t any of those around here. And Jack didn’t suppose there ever would be.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Hippie Hollow: Naked Beauty
By: Ronnie
Due to the gorgeous weather yesterday, Juliana and I decided to take a little trip to Lake Travis just outside of Austin. I Googled some parks and read some reviews to map out our plan of attack. Windy Point Park and Mcgregor Park (aka Hippie Hollow) were located within a
few minutes of each other. It was only logical that we made these our destinations. The reviews for Hippie Hollow warned that it was not actually a beach but a series of rock outcroppings (see pics below). The reviews also warned that nude swimming was allowed, the only such park in the state of Texas. Big deal, I thought. So, some people do a little skinny dipping. No problem, right?The travel time was 15 minutes from our apartment, and what a beautiful drive it was. The Texas hill country is spectacular. The rolling hills, trees, and beautiful homes perched on shear cliffs made focusing on the road a real challenge, much to Juliana's disdain. "These brakes are so touchy," was my common excuse. I'm pretty sure Julie saw through this. We finally crested a hill (felt like a mountain) overlooking Lake Travis. It took everything Julie's Honda Civic Hybrid, Ladybird, had to climb it. The view was amazing. The brakes seemed to really be on the fritz after that point.
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Condition
By: Ronnie
I dated this dame once. Yeah, she was a dame. I don't know how else to describe her. She liked to wiggle her ass when she walked. Always made it a point to walk a few steps ahead of you just so she'd know you were looking. I indulged. That's about all she was good for. She had the looks but that's it. She had a condition. Something about the frontal lobe of some cortex below the cerebellum of the medulla whatcha-ma-call-it froze up or overreacted or chemically diffused. Something like that. Real scientific stuff. It was sad. Poor dame would shake it until the sun went down, sip a coca-cola, and proceed to carry on the most unintelligent, uninteresting conversation conceived by man.
Mary, that was her name. Or maybe it was Katherine. It doesn't really matter. We'd go to the movies or sit on the couch at her house and watch television. That's all she would talk about, too. "Oh my god! I loved Joe Blow in that movie!" she'd say. "Did you watch the episode of Who Gives a Rat's Ass last night?" she'd continue. And on and on it would go. Real brutal shit if you asked me. The only thing worse than watching TV on her couch and listening to her babble was listening to her drunk dad talk about his high school football days. That shit really bothers me.
When I could endure no more I would make some excuse about it getting late or walking the dog or one of the other infinite number of lies I used to get out the front door. I don't know why I did it, date her. I guess it was the way she wiggled her ass or how she let me rub her leg while we watched TV, even when she had on a skirt. She really was a good looking dame. Way too good looking for the likes of me. She was just so unbearable. The condition and all, I suppose. She never actually mentioned it to me. I'm sure she had one, though. I'd be almost positive. It really doesn't matter anyway, does it?
I dated this dame once. Yeah, she was a dame. I don't know how else to describe her. She liked to wiggle her ass when she walked. Always made it a point to walk a few steps ahead of you just so she'd know you were looking. I indulged. That's about all she was good for. She had the looks but that's it. She had a condition. Something about the frontal lobe of some cortex below the cerebellum of the medulla whatcha-ma-call-it froze up or overreacted or chemically diffused. Something like that. Real scientific stuff. It was sad. Poor dame would shake it until the sun went down, sip a coca-cola, and proceed to carry on the most unintelligent, uninteresting conversation conceived by man.
Mary, that was her name. Or maybe it was Katherine. It doesn't really matter. We'd go to the movies or sit on the couch at her house and watch television. That's all she would talk about, too. "Oh my god! I loved Joe Blow in that movie!" she'd say. "Did you watch the episode of Who Gives a Rat's Ass last night?" she'd continue. And on and on it would go. Real brutal shit if you asked me. The only thing worse than watching TV on her couch and listening to her babble was listening to her drunk dad talk about his high school football days. That shit really bothers me.
When I could endure no more I would make some excuse about it getting late or walking the dog or one of the other infinite number of lies I used to get out the front door. I don't know why I did it, date her. I guess it was the way she wiggled her ass or how she let me rub her leg while we watched TV, even when she had on a skirt. She really was a good looking dame. Way too good looking for the likes of me. She was just so unbearable. The condition and all, I suppose. She never actually mentioned it to me. I'm sure she had one, though. I'd be almost positive. It really doesn't matter anyway, does it?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Oh Sarah, the things you do to me...
By: Juliana
A couple of days ago a story broke that Sarah Palin admitted she and her family had….GASP….crossed the border into Canada to take advantage of their single-payer health care system. NO! It couldn’t be! Outrage! HYPOCRITE! LIAR!! These were just a few (censored) things that came to my mind. I first read the story when it broke on the Huffington Post, not exactly the cream of the crop when it comes to news sources, but I have always found their stories for the most part to be factual, biased perhaps, but accurate nonetheless. The story literally broke about 30 minutes after the Palin confession. There is always a race to be first. Forget about the facts and let’s leave out the “inconsequential” details. Break the story, damnit!
ERRRRRRR!! Hold on. STOP! Let’s look at the whole story. Where we’re going, we don’t need roads. If you look at the full text of the speech Palin gave, you will see she was talking about in the 1960’s when her brother once burned his foot and they crossed the border to get treatment. Back in the 60’s, Canada did not, I repeat, did NOT have a single payer health care system. The Canadian Medical Care Act was not passed until 1967, and this act only allowed for government to pay for approximately 50% of approved expenditures for hospital and physician services. So in reality, the Palin clan was not fully taking advantage of the Canadian government when they hopped the border. They were not participating in a full on “socialized medicine” system. Thank goodness. Heaven forbid they be subject to one of those death panels I’ve been hearing about! That liberal rag got it wrong! Ha!
A couple of days ago a story broke that Sarah Palin admitted she and her family had….GASP….crossed the border into Canada to take advantage of their single-payer health care system. NO! It couldn’t be! Outrage! HYPOCRITE! LIAR!! These were just a few (censored) things that came to my mind. I first read the story when it broke on the Huffington Post, not exactly the cream of the crop when it comes to news sources, but I have always found their stories for the most part to be factual, biased perhaps, but accurate nonetheless. The story literally broke about 30 minutes after the Palin confession. There is always a race to be first. Forget about the facts and let’s leave out the “inconsequential” details. Break the story, damnit!
ERRRRRRR!! Hold on. STOP! Let’s look at the whole story. Where we’re going, we don’t need roads. If you look at the full text of the speech Palin gave, you will see she was talking about in the 1960’s when her brother once burned his foot and they crossed the border to get treatment. Back in the 60’s, Canada did not, I repeat, did NOT have a single payer health care system. The Canadian Medical Care Act was not passed until 1967, and this act only allowed for government to pay for approximately 50% of approved expenditures for hospital and physician services. So in reality, the Palin clan was not fully taking advantage of the Canadian government when they hopped the border. They were not participating in a full on “socialized medicine” system. Thank goodness. Heaven forbid they be subject to one of those death panels I’ve been hearing about! That liberal rag got it wrong! Ha!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Move over, Boomers!
By: Juliana
So when I said that I wanted to start sharing my opinions, I didn’t realize it was going to be so hard! I have spent the last few days trying to come up with a topic for my next post, and it has been about as fun as getting a tooth pulled. I realize that I am thinking way too much into it. We’re just writing a blog, not curing cancer here. But I do want my posts to be interesting, so I hope what I continue on to say doesn’t induce you into a coma.
A couple of days ago, I read an article in the Courier Journal (the Louisville newspaper) titled “Gen-Ex?”. Under the headline was a picture of Jay Leno and one of Conan O’Brien, with the “Ex?” being conveniently placed over O’Brien’s head. My first thought was, why is this still making front-page news? Anyways, I can’t resist anything having to do with O’Brien’s massive pompadour, so I read. The article went on to discuss a clash between generations. In the first corner we have the reigning champion generation, the Baby Boomers. On the challenger’s side is, well…everyone else: Generation X, Generation Y, and whatever the hell is after us. The article explains how Boomer Leno ultimately defeated Gen X’er O’Brien and how the Boomers in Congress are currently overshadowing our first Gen X President. This article sparked something in me, not because I disagreed with it, but because it hit on a sentiment that I have been feeling for some time. Unless the Baby Boomers rid themselves of their sense of entitlement, nothing is going to change in our country until they are gone. I feel like I should have tried to put that sentence in terms that didn’t sound so, oh, I don’t know, harsh? But, no. I voted against doing so because the whole generation’s narcissism is putting everyone else in a life and death situation.
So when I said that I wanted to start sharing my opinions, I didn’t realize it was going to be so hard! I have spent the last few days trying to come up with a topic for my next post, and it has been about as fun as getting a tooth pulled. I realize that I am thinking way too much into it. We’re just writing a blog, not curing cancer here. But I do want my posts to be interesting, so I hope what I continue on to say doesn’t induce you into a coma.
A couple of days ago, I read an article in the Courier Journal (the Louisville newspaper) titled “Gen-Ex?”. Under the headline was a picture of Jay Leno and one of Conan O’Brien, with the “Ex?” being conveniently placed over O’Brien’s head. My first thought was, why is this still making front-page news? Anyways, I can’t resist anything having to do with O’Brien’s massive pompadour, so I read. The article went on to discuss a clash between generations. In the first corner we have the reigning champion generation, the Baby Boomers. On the challenger’s side is, well…everyone else: Generation X, Generation Y, and whatever the hell is after us. The article explains how Boomer Leno ultimately defeated Gen X’er O’Brien and how the Boomers in Congress are currently overshadowing our first Gen X President. This article sparked something in me, not because I disagreed with it, but because it hit on a sentiment that I have been feeling for some time. Unless the Baby Boomers rid themselves of their sense of entitlement, nothing is going to change in our country until they are gone. I feel like I should have tried to put that sentence in terms that didn’t sound so, oh, I don’t know, harsh? But, no. I voted against doing so because the whole generation’s narcissism is putting everyone else in a life and death situation.
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